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"Enthusiasm is worth any pot of cream ever offered."
Can you be a President or a Prime Minister if you are bald? Many political advisers suggest that a Presidential or Prime Ministerial candidate should have plenty of hair and an attractive, youthful image. They see image as a very important part of success.
Bill Clinton has plenty of hair. So do George Bush and Tony Blair. How important is a young and attractive image for success?
Recently, there was a discussion in a TV program about the value of cosmetic surgery. One speaker, Anna Raeburn (the broadcaster and journalist) commented that:
"Age is like the weather; you can't do much about it and need to make friends with it. I cannot see myself choosing to have a knife in my face. I would prefer to work at my diet and so on. I'm 60 and I prefer to focus on more important things."
She added later: "I refuse to disappear because of my birthday. I do not need to compete with younger people."
Anna believes, like her mother, that the secret to looking good is enthusiasm not cosmetic surgery:
"My mother used to say: 'Enthusiasm is worth any pot of cream ever offered.'"
However, an increasing number of people are turning to cosmetic surgery.
Some have been called names like 'big lips' because their lips were abnormally big. Surgery can mean freedom from verbal abuse for people like them.
Others are not happy with themselves even though others do not notice. It matters to them what they think of themselves.
Natalie Turner, a model and presenter, had a bump removed from her nose. She also had breast enlargement. The surgery increased her confidence.
She believes that God gave us brains to decide what to do about our own bodies.
The emails into the program also had mixed viewpoints:
-Every one should go for it because it makes you feel wonderful.
-People who have plastic surgery are deluding themselves. Grow old gracefully.
-People are too obsessed with their bodies. They are trying to become perfect in an imperfect world.
My personal preference would be for enthusiasm without the surgery. I have attended several martial arts seminars where some instructors looked like true martial artists i.e. slim, fit and muscular. Others looked unfit and even overweight. Once they started speaking and instructing, I no longer cared what they looked like.
Some of the most overweight and ordinary looking turned out to be full of enthusiasm for what they were teaching. They were brilliant instructors and that was all that really mattered. I won't mention their names as it might be safer not to insult their looks!
In the world of politics, Eisenhower was a great President and he did not have much hair. Atlee was one of the greatest British Prime Ministers and he was practically bald. Churchill was no male model.
Obviously, it would be good to have enthusiasm and good looks but, given a choice, I would take enthusiasm every time. The spirit within is far more important than the shape without.
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LIFE AFTER BIRTH: THE FIRST 6 WEEKS
Life after birth can be chaotic, especially if this is your first baby. Taking care of your newborn is hard work and won’t be much fun until he or she develops a personality. In case you didn’t know, a newborn doesn’t laugh or smile, it can’t play or even hold its own head up without a supporting hand. All it can do is eat, sleep, dirty diapers, pass gas, throw up and cry. Despite all of this, you will – believe it or not – love your little tot more than anything else in the world. Moreover, you will learn a lot about yourself and your partner as you both navigate through these initial days of parenthood.
Sex (or lack thereof)
You should know that sex is off-limits for at least 6 weeks after your partner gives birth. Don’t forget that she just delivered a fair-sized human through a very tiny birth canal and her body will need time to heal. Your gal’s doctor will ask to see her about six weeks after delivery for a full physical and emotional post-baby follow-up. At this visit, the doctor will check to see how her wounds are healing. If everything is good, your partner will get the green light for sex. However, this doesn’t mean that she will be as keen and eager to get back into the game. She’ll likely be tired from the whole pregnancy ordeal and from the added responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Help out as much as possible and be patient. Her interest in sex will return…just don’t push her too hard.
Sleep (or lack thereof)
The good news is that babies need a lot of sleep – about 15-16 hours a day. Unfortunately, newborns don’t have regular sleep patterns and don’t sleep for long hours at a time. This means that you won’t have regular sleep patterns either. Get used to napping throughout the day. And if that doesn’t work for you, then get used to sleep deprivation. You and your partner may feel like you are losing your minds as you quickly realize how cranky and dysfunctional you can be after several nights of disrupted sleep. Hang in there. After about 8 or 10 weeks, your baby will start to sleep through the night (approximately five consecutive hours) and your sleep-deprived, zombie-like state will be a thing of the past.
You may with to alternate night shifts to maximize the amount of uninterrupted sleep each partner gets. There really is no need for both of you to get up every time the baby needs to be fed, coddled or changed.
Caring for Your Tiny Tot
After your shopping spree for nursery items, layettes and strollers, you may have thought that you were fully ready for your baby. While these purchases were necessary, they are only a small part of what you need to survive postnatal care. There will be many new and strange things for you and your partner to learn. The ins-and-outs of feeding, bathing, diapering and umbilical cord care are in no way intuitive. Don’t get scared or discouraged by your new-found incompetence. Chances are that your partner is also incompetent in this area. It’s okay to make mistakes; every new parent does. The good news is that the parental learning curve is steep. You and your partner will quickly develop the skills needed to care for your tot. To give you a helping hand, here is are a few pointers on baby care basics:
Feeding
The first step is to decide your method of feeding – breast milk or formula? There are many benefits of breastfeeding, including nutritional and emotional advantages. Breast milk is a complete food source that contains hormones and disease-fighting compounds that are absent in formula. Nursing also helps build a special bond between mother and baby. Studies show that babies thrive on the skin-to-skin contact, cuddling and holding that occurs during breastfeeding. However, there are a variety of reasons why many women do not nurse. They may not be able to produce enough milk or they may have to return to work soon after birth and are not available to nurse the baby throughout the day. Whatever the reason, your gal should not feel guilty or uncomfortable with deciding to bottle-feed. There are many excellent formulas available which are highly nutritious. Speak with your partner’s physician or pediatrician about recommended formulas.
Regardless of your method of feeding, you should know that most newborns eat about 8 times a day (approximately every two to three hours). However, you shouldn’t try to set scheduled eating times during the first few weeks after birth. Let your baby eat whenever he or she seems hungry.
Bathing
Because your baby’s umbilical cord will need to heal, it is very important that you keep it dry to prevent infection. After about two weeks, the gross looking stump (i.e., remnants of the umbilical cord) will fall off and your baby will be left with a cute little belly button. In the meantime, take extra care not to wet the umbilical cord during bathing. The best way to do this is to give your tot sponge baths until the cord heals.
To give a sponge bath, you will need a stable surface, a soft washcloth and lukewarm water. Make sure that you test the water temperature before applying the cloth to your baby to prevent scalding him or her. Your elbow or the inner part of your wrist is a good place to test water temperature. Your hand is not a good guide since it is not very sensitive enough to tell how hot or cold the water really is. Now you can begin wiping your baby gently with the moistened washcloth. Begin by wiping your baby’s eyes (from inside to outside), ears and under arms. Then you can move onto legs and genitalia. When washing the bottom, make sure you wipe from front to back to avoid bringing any feces near the genitals. If you have had your baby boy circumcised, then you will want to speak with your pediatrician about caring for the penis while it heals.
The most important thing to remember when bathing your baby is to NEVER leave him or her along – not even for a second. Babies squirm around a lot, so you should always keep your eyes and one hand on your little one during bath time. The same rule applies when you are changing your baby’s diaper.
Changing Diapers
Don’t avoid this responsibility because it you have never changed a diaper before. Because babies pee and poop so often, you will spend a lot of time changing diapers. Take advantage of this precious time with junior. You may also have to develop silly and immature techniques to comfort your baby if he/she does not enjoy the diapering process. As ridiculous as you may feel, this is actually an important part of establishing a parent-tot bond.
While it may be dirty work, diapering is not rocket science. For easy to follow instructions, make sure to read our article on How to Change a Diaper at www.thefunkystork.com.
Caring for Yourself and Your Partner As flighty and silly as it might sound, self-care is important. Neither you nor your partner is doing your tot any good by neglecting yourselves. Try a shift-work system where you schedule an hour or two during the day where one parent will care for the baby alone. This way, the other parent can practice self-care – taking a long, warm bath, going for a run, doing yoga, reading or just going for coffee with a friend.
You will find that self-care will also help maintain civility in your relationship with your partner. By making time to do something for yourself, you will find that you won’t feel as overwhelmed by your initiation to parenthood. And don’t forget that this rule also applies to your partner. In fact, she will likely need more time for self-care than you since she will also be recovering from both 40 weeks of pregnancy and hours of childbirth. Also be aware that your partner is particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression during the first weeks after birth.
Postpartum depression, which is a more serious case of the baby blues, can begin as early as a few days after delivery. Experts don’t know the real cause of postpartum depression, but they suspect that it has something to do with changes hormonal levels. Stress, disturbed sleeping patterns and changes in daily routine can all contribute to postpartum depression. Signs and symptoms include restlessness, irritability, changes in appetite, sadness and anxiety. If your partner is experiencing any of these symptoms or if you sense that something isn’t right with the way your partner is behaving, you should consult your physician immediately. Untreated, postpartum depression can develop into postpartum psychosis, which is a serious mental illness that requires medical intervention. Both you and your partner should take her postnatal psychological state very seriously.
On a lighter note, you and your partner make an extra effort to keep the romance in your relationship. While your baby will require a lot of your time and attention, he or she will also be taking a lot of naps. Nap-time may be the perfect (and only) time for your and your partner to romance each other. Snuggle, watch a movie, make dinner or enjoy a glass of wine together. Whatever you decide to do, take a minute to set the mood with candles and relaxing music.
Another important factor to consider is how involved you want your parents or partner’s parents to be. Parental intervention can add some seriously unneeded stress to the situation and unnecessary strain on your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t reject offers to help. Being a new parent is not going to be easy and you will need all the help that you can get. Just remember to set limits and don’t be afraid to tell your relatives what you need (and don’t need). The last thing you want is to have one overbearing relatives overstepping their boundaries and overstaying their welcome.
Now What?
Things change after about 6 weeks of caring for your newborn. You and your partner will be different people, your relationship will be redefined and your tot will begin to act more like a baby than a squirmy alien. Life will get easier from here on out. Your tot will become a toddler and will begin roaming around the house. Make sure you are prepared for junior’s curiosity by baby-proofing your home early.
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Italy is a breathtakingly beautiful country that will always be one of the highlights for anyone’s travel to Europe. It has everything from the impossibly blue Mediterranean Sea to the spectacular Alps, with fabulous food at every stop along the way. And while you are there, you can’t help but trip over history with every step you take.
Here are few things you cannot miss when you travel to Italy:
--Venice. Think about it. How many movies have you seen that were set in this romantic city? Well there is a reason. If there is a city with more charm and magic than Venice, someone is keeping it a very tight secret. (Oh sure, I can just hear those Parisians objecting that their’s is the most romantic city, but those folks are hardly objective. Besides, this is an article about Italy.)
The “streets” are waterways and the city is gradually sinking into the Adriatic Sea. But don’t worry, it will still be there by the time you get there to see it all.
--The Roman Colosseum.Talk about the original home for extreme games. You can almost hear the ghosts of gladiators clashing their swords and signing multi-drachma contracts with their agents.
The Colosseum is both a spectacular and grim place, considering the many senseless acts of violence that occurred here. Kind of like the beauty pageants are today.
--Florence. If you aren’t already an art lover, you will be after visiting Florence. Walk in the footsteps of Michelangelo, Da Vinci and Raphael and your life will be forever changed.
One word of warning however, if you are already prone to feelings of penis envy or inadequacy, Michelangelo’s 18-foot statue of David, may not be your cup of tea.
--The Vatican. The art, architecture, history and sheer aura of this place will leave you speechless.
--Wine country. The folks in France won’t admit this either, but Italian wines are often every bit as good (sometimes even better) than their French counterparts. Take a tour and you will enjoy the tastings all the more after having seen the sheer craftsmanship and patience that goes into making fine wines.
And need I remind you to purchase a few of your favorites so you can bring them home to impress your friends with your refinement and worldly sophistication.
--The Italian Alps. OK, I will admit that I kept thinking, “these mountains cannot be real. I bet some Hollywood film company put together the ultimate background to impress the tourists.” But in actual fact, they are real. And they are beautiful beyond anything you have ever imagined before in your life.
What has always amazed me was that Hannibal surprised the Romans by bringing elephants through the Alps. Elephants were the ancient warfare equivalent of our modern tanks, so you can bet Hannibal had the Romans running for their adult Pampers as soon as they saw his army coming over those mountains.
I read somewhere that Italy is the home of more American ex patriots than any other country. So you should be warned in advance that if you stay too long in Italy, you might never want to come back. With that in mind, proceed with caution.
COPYRIGHT © 2005, Charles Brown. All rights reserved.
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If you have taught your child all the rules of ‘stranger danger’ you have protected him/her from a 1% chance of being sexually abused. This leaves your child vulnerable to the most likely sexual child abuse offender, family members or other trusted adults. 80% of children are sexually abused by a family member, 19% are abused by someone the child knows and trusts. The other little known statistic is the frequency of sexual child abuse. David Finkelhor and Dianna Russell’s research reveals 62% of girls and 31% of boys will be sexually abused by age 18. Unfortunately this statistic is considered low due to the difficulty in gathering data through surveys or reporting agencies.
For many decades we have screamed, ranted, condemned, demanded and enacted legislation to punish sex offenders to little avail. The news media and magazines have joined in the campaign to illuminate the problem after the damage is done. As a result of the media’s incessant coverage and hype of ‘strangers,’ we have come to believe if we teach our children about ‘stranger danger,’ we have thoroughly protected our children from this horrific crime.
The first response we form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. ‘I don’t have to be concerned about that in my community. That would never happen in my family.’ The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. To understand how sexual child abuse is perpetrated by the person we least suspect one needs to have a comprehensive definition of sexual abuse.
“Traditionally, incest [sexual abuse] was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force.
Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child’s expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse.
As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated.. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors).”
There are two types of sexual abuse approaches—overt and covert.
Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature.
Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she/he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his/her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his/her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with him/herself because he/she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her/him discounts signs of the abuse, because we don’t want to believe someone with a sterling public image would do such a thing. Thus the child feels crazy, as if she/he is the one with the problem.
One example of overt sexual abuse whereby the perpetrator disguises his actions and those present are in denial about what is transpiring is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported seeing. Her father (her perpetrator) kissed his granddaughter, her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece finished her bath. Her sister, the child’s mother, the child’s grandmother (wife of the perpetrator) were present. “My sister and mother (the child’s grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting,” she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in therapy she would not have considered it sexual abuse either.
An example of covert sexual abuse by someone we least expect is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been ‘fondled’ when she was nine by a family friend. “He helped me on with my coat at a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast.” This type fondling is often times referred to as ‘coping a feel.’ No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. Women know how icky it feels when a man ‘cops a feel.’ Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced?
Another example of covert sexual abuse by someone you least expect was told to me by my client, Rickie (not his real name). He remembered being held by his mother’s best friend in the water at the beach when he was six, while his parents sat on the beach. Fully protected from view by the water, she fondled his penis. This was not the end of the sexual abuse. When Rickie was 15 years old, she enticed him to have sex with her at her home while he waited for her son, his friend to come home. The second incident of her sexual abuse of Rickie was overt.
There are six key techniques to abuse-proof your child.
•Avoid spanking your child—spanking is a body boundary violation. Perpetrators target children who have had body boundary violations because they are less apt to protest any unacceptable body boundary violations, are more compliant with adults and are less apt to tell. You can avoid your child from falling prey to these cunning perpetrators by doing everything to avoid making your child a target.
•Avoid touching your child in erotic areas—buttocks, chest, thighs, etc. Perpetrators state they use familiar touch (rubbing the child’s legs, buttocks or hugging/kissing) to desensitize the child before using touch which is sexual in content and intent. If your child is unaccustomed to being touched in erotic areas, he/she will protest immediately. Protesting will either thwart the perpetrator or alert anyone nearby that something is awry.
•Teach your child self-protection by teaching him/her to protest violation of body boundaries or unwanted touch beginning at age two.
•Practice and teach your child good body image.
•Practice and teach your child to TELL YOU EVERYTHING, NO SECRETS FROM MOMMY and DADDY.
•Practice and Teach Appropriate Suspicion—Trust your intuition, (a.k.a Sixth Sense)
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A slow and steady revolution is sweeping the market for erectile dysfunction drugs – Cialis. Most people may not even be aware of it. Lilly ICOS, the pharmaceutical alliance, which launched the blockbuster drug Cialis, announced that the drug has achieved 1 billion dollars in global sales since launching in Europe less than two years back.
In fact Cialis has become the top Erectile Dysfunction treatment in France, since January 2005, based on the latst market data, easily overtaking Viagra, the first brand to be launched in this market. It is also doing very well in United Kingdom, Italy, Germany, United States, Canada, Australia, Mexico and Brazil.
So much so that a Lilly ICOS press release contained these words from Rich Pilnik, President of Lilly's EMEA region "We are very pleased with the performance of Cialis and the steady development of the brand since its launch two years ago. Millions of men suffer from ED and the growth of the market demonstrates that patients are speaking to their healthcare providers about ED and seeking treatment options."
Not only has Cialis been able to expand the market but it has also eaten heavily in the market share of Viagra from Pfizer, the first drug to be launched in this market and Levitra from Glaxo-Bayer-Schering Plough. In fact Cialis was the second PDE5 inhibitor drug to become available in Europe. It is currently promoted in approximately 100 countries including the United States, Australia, Brazil, Mexico, Canada and across Europe and Asia for Erectile Dysfunction.
According to Paul Clark, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of ICOS Corporation. "Passing the $1 billion mark is an important milestone for Lilly ICOS and a great accomplishment for the Cialis team. Since 2003, men with erectile dysfunction have had a choice of oral treatments for their condition - a condition which may impact on relationships and daily life."
Beyond all the hype and the jubilation is the sheer superiority of Cialis over all the other drugs available in this indication. To understand the benefits of Cialis, we need to firstly understand this complex condition.
Erectile Dysfunction or Impotence is defined as the inability to ensure and maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. ED affects an estimated 180 million men worldwide . 90 percent of ED cases are related to a physical or medical condition, such as diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and prostate cancer treatment, while 10 percent are due to psychological causes . In many cases, however, both psychological and physical factors contribute to the condition.
Where physical factor play an important role PDE-5( Phosphodiaterase) inhibitors have a significant role to play. These include drugs like Sildenafil (Viagra) and Vardenafil(Levitra). But none are as good as Tadalafil(Cialis). Why?
Firstly let’s understand how PDE-5 inhibitors work. They work by inhibiting the enzyme phosphodiasterase-5 which is responsible for degrading another enzyme called cGMP(cyclic Guanosine Mono Phosphate) which through a series of reactions is responsible for the synthesis of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide is an important vasodilator responsible for dilation of the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis. Thus, there is an increase in the blood supplied to the penis and this increased blood engorges the penis and leads the formation of an erection through hydraulic pressure.
All PDE-5 inhibitors work in the same way but because they are different molecules, they also have different properties. The body quickly eliminates both Sildenafil and Vardenafil. Therefore their action lasts for only 4 hours, while Tadalafil(Cialis) is absorbed and eliminated slowly therefore it remains in the body for a longer period of time. Therefore its duration of action is 9 times that of other drugs - 36 hours. This ensures that Cialis will act over a whopping 36 hours and any patient on Cialis does not need to have hurried sex , but sex at his or his partner’s leisurely pace. That is why Cialis has been nicknamed as “Le Weekend Pill” in France. It allows the man to relax with his partner and have spontaneous sex.
Also other drugs like Viagra act on the enzyme PDE-6, which is found in the eyes, leading to bluish discolouration of vision, which will not occur with Cialis.
Cialis can be taken with a 100% fat meal and there will be no change in it’s action. The same is not true for Sildenafil or Vardenafil, which are affected by food.
All this makes Cialis currently the best drug for erectile dyfunction.
What further adds to it’s appeal are programmes like “The Cialis Promise” from Lilly ICOS which guarantees free trial with a rival drug in case Cialis does not work. With this kind of confidence oozing from Lilly ICOS, there is reason to believe in the promise of Cialis.
Cialis is available at any neighbour chemist on providing a doctor’s prescription or one can buy Cialis online. An online prescription is generated on filling a short form and on payment through credit card, one can be rest assured of getting Cialis discreetly. What more cheap generic Cialis is also available online. This will further reduce your medical bills. The low cost is like an icing to the Cialis cake or pudding for that matter . But, as is said, the proof of the pudding lies in the eating - So go for Cialis.
