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If you need to spice things up in the bedroom, it’s always a good idea to throw in some toys for you and your partner to have fun with. Here are some simple sex toys for those who are new to the experience:
1. A vibrator – It’s best to start with a simple vibrator, and if you’re a lucky man, your partner may already have one. You can easily stimulate her clitoris using this device, especially if she’s having a hard time to climax. Vibrators are quite handy for guys too – she can use this to tease your prostate to give you a more powerful orgasm.
2. Handcuffs or scarves – These are great for simple role-playing (cops and robbers bedroom style). You can cuff yourselves to each other, or one of you can be cuffed to a bedpost. By limiting your movement this way, you can find more creative positions to give each other pleasure. If you’re using scarves instead of cuffs, you can use them as a blindfold too. After all, increasing the element of surprise can do wonders for your libido.
3. Boardgames – Don’t break out Monopoly out of the box just yet, an game like “Twister” can be more interesting if you play it while you’re naked. There are also several sex-oriented board games on the market, like Sex Questions and Pervarsity, and you might want to look into those.
4. Edible body paint – If you and your partner have artistic inclinations, using edible body paint is a good way to express yourself when you’re inspired. Sexually, that is. You can paint on each other and lick it all off after. Some paints are chocolate flavored, and we all know that most women can’t resist chocolate!
5. Penis rings – They come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re good for both you and your partner. They can make your erections more intense, as well as stimulate her vagina in ways that a naked penis won’t. This is a good toy for those who want to put a little variety when it comes to penetration.
Once you feel as if you and your partner are past the "beginner's" stage of sex toy usage, go ahead and experiment! There's a whole treasure trove of sex toys available for the advanced user.
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Happiness and sexuality may not be grossly proportionate to each other but a healthy sex life can definitely be the source of happiness. For a happy sexual life, it is necessary to take adequate care of our physical and sexual health. But many content relationships find themselves in the dock when one of the partners is diagnosed with a sexual dysfunction. Latest studies have indicated the emergence of sexual dysfunction in women termed Female sexual dysfunction (FSD) and says that 50 percent women over the age of thirty faces the risk of sexual dysfunction. But in most cases it is the male sexual dysfunction which has reached alarming levels affecting millions across the world. The most significant among them is erectile dysfunction or impotence.
As commonly believed, any problem related to sexual life like, lack of sexual desire, premature ejaculation or problem with orgasm is considered to be impotence. But in reality, impotence or erectile dysfunction is the inability in a man to achieve or sustain an erection necessary for sexual activity. An occasional failure in having an erection cannot be judged as erectile dysfunction. It is diagnosed so if maintaining an erection becomes a consistent problem for a prolonged period of time. Men suffering from impotence are too embarrassed to speak about their sexual dilemma and they live under continuous stress fearing rejection by their loved one. Such situations can jeopardize many relationships. So talk to your partner because, problem shared is problem halved and you can definitely win over impotence.
Consult your physician and seek out an amiable treatment. Though medical experts and researchers all over world have been trying out various forms of treatment but the most popular and widely accepted treatment has been with the oral prescription drug Viagra. Since its FDA approval and introduction to its consumers in 1998, Viagra has successfully managed to acquire their trust both with its effective qualities and cheap prices. But the main ingredient present in Viagra which is mainly responsible for treating erectile dysfunction is its chemical component Sildenafil citrate. It works by relaxing the penile arteries hardened due to arteriosclerosis and improves the flow of blood to the penis on sexual arousal thus facilitating erection.
Viagra is the most publicized drug in its category and its popularity can be assessed by the number of websites providing information on Viagra online. These Viagra online information sites not only provide all information and latest research studies but also cater to free consultations from medical experts. So if you are embarrassed to see a doctor in person you can seek the help of the online medical experts but it is advisable to use Viagra only under medical supervision. Moreover, you can buy Viagra from online pharmacies with the click of a mouse in the privacy of your home. Viagra can definitely transform your sexual dilemma for a happy and content sex life.
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There have been, perhaps, six critical conversations I’ve had that have shaped my professional consulting career. One of them was with an operations manager at a division of Federal Express.
I had just completed a successful, nationwide training program for the field sales force, so my credibility and confidence were soaring. Then, I heard a simple, but challenging question.
“We know how to measure sales productivity,” he said. “But is there something you can develop that will measure customer service productivity?”
Reflexively, I thought, “Why bother? Even if we can do it, reps will hate it.” But I held my tongue, sensing that this was a rare opportunity to revisit some of my assumptions.
My gut reaction was informed by years of doing seminars across the country in which I brought together sales and service people into the same sessions. Evaluations told me that they felt they were adversaries with mutually exclusive value systems.
Sales types tend to see themselves as swashbucklers, rogues, high-wire types, who crave adventure and embrace risks. They thrive on contingent pay, on the prospect of receiving hefty commissions and bonuses when they make big sales.
Service folks tend to be more risk averse. Often, they have a clerical mentality, which commends accuracy while penalizing mistakes. I sensed, to my core, that if we suggested to them that their pay should be even partly variable, based on achievement, they’d rebel.
This was more than supposition on my part. I had introduced cross-selling programs for years into service departments, experience that informed my best-selling book, Selling Skills For The Non-Salesperson. I found I could design a great sales program for service people, yet many would balk, even after they had achieved success and financial rewards through it.
They explained to me, in a very straightforward way, that they simply didn’t want to be salespeople, and that was that. Noting resistance from the rank and file, senior management, in those days, refused to push for implementation, despite the fact that big profits were being left on the table.
What, if anything, has changed since I was asked this question?
Four crucial things:
(1) We know much more about measuring customer service achievement.
(2) Job enlargement, downsizing, CRM, and the rise of professionalism in companies have all contributed to an expectation of broadened CSR responsibilities and heightened performance.
(3) Global competition, especially from knowledge workers in countries such as India, China, and elsewhere, is beginning to exert pressure on domestic workers to find ways to increase their contributions, if only to keep jobs onshore.
(4) Management is more cost and profit conscious than ever before.
Customer Service Achievement
If there have been three unwritten commandments in the past for being a capable CSR they have boiled down to: (1) Sound nice; (2) Defuse angry customers; and (3) Don’t make mistakes entering or retrieving data or reciting company policies.
Now, associates are being discouraged from focusing primarily on themselves, on customer service, or the motions they go through as they work. They’re being required to focus on outcomes: on customer satisfaction and on customer loyalty.
They’re being shown, through new training and unobtrusive, real-time performance measures, how to evaluate the impacts they’re having on transactional satisfaction and a customer’s decision to buy again from their organizations.
To borrow a phrase from Peter F. Drucker, suddenly the customer handling process is being managed for results.
If we can objectively monitor, measure, manage, and systematically replicate customer results, there’s no reason to deny better pay to the people that can produce them.
Future articles will explore some of the other crucial changes that have occurred, as well as discuss the pragmatics of introducing a pay-for-performance plan into the customer service context.
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Mid life Crisis is not a disease or an event that one can avoid. It afflicts everyone who lives through their middle years. There is no warning as to when it will hit you, but when it does, it likely will come at the worst possible time, but then again, when is a good time for a meltdown?
Most likely your time will differ from that of your friends and others close to you like your Husband or Wife, since our Middle years can begin anytime from our mid thirties through one’s fifties and everyone is different.
Don’t even think you can avoid mid life Crisis, because you can’t! No amount of money or influence can get you out of this one. How you endure the transformation and to what degree you suffer or not, will vary as widely as those who experience it. You know the cliché, forewarned is forearmed, so knowing what will happen and how to survive the experience in tact, can go a long way. Right!
I may have been exaggerating slightly about how ominous Middle aged Crisis can be, because I wanted to grab your attention. However, we have all heard the jokes about middle aged crisis and know that within all jokes, there does contain a grain of truth. The truth here is that some of you will experience a major shift in your lives, while for others the change may be more gentle. Do not doubt that change is on its way. It is inevitable! You may not have say on if or when it will happen, but you do have a say in how you will deal with it. Each and every one of us is equipped with a silver bullet in our personal arsenal to deploy as we see fit. This is something that you may already be using or something that you have yet to take out. It matters not because you never run out of it. It is the most effective weapon we have and that is Attitude!
As a Life Coach, we use our attitude and perspective to help our clients deal with many issues in their lives until their own attitude can take over. In fact, we often say that if we only have one tool to use, Perspective would be it. How you view things, and the attitude you take toward life’s ups and downs, (your perspective), has a dramatic effect on how you cope. Are you a glass is half full or half empty person? Do you laugh in the face of danger or do you run and hide in terror? Are you someone who is afraid of change or do you embrace it like me? Do you see problems or opportunities for improvement? Positive and negative personalities are obviously opposites of each other, with the extremes differing in folks all up and down the spectrum of the pole. I can certainly find folks who exemplify the ends of the pole, those with very strong outlooks, but for those who are fence sitters, you now have an opportunity to change your attitude. Only you know how you experience the world around you, but I know that a positive or negative attitude will affect how you experience what I have coined, The Emergence of our True Self. How would you like to go through life? Seeing opportunities or finding problems everywhere? The choice is yours.
Look at this time as an amazing opportunity for you to take a peek behind the veil, the cloak of mystery that is you. Avidly seek out the answers to questions that have plagued mankind since the beginning of time. I know that as a child I lay in bed and many times looked up at the sky and wondered, “Why am I here”? “What is my purpose?” “How can I be more than I am?” These are the questions that will now be answered for you. This is your time to finally solve the mystery. View this time as a positive experience. This is your time and it has been given to you so that you can emerge as your True Self. Feel all of it; embrace the experience, even the tough stuff. Remember the butterfly and its struggle to emerge from it’s cocoon. You may struggle through this time but you will emerge a more content person for it. I am positive about this.
Middle Aged Crisis, struck this week and it happened to a man we will call Dan. Let’s see how it begins so we know what to look for. Dan is a slightly paunchy, balding middle-aged man in his late 40’s, whose one attempt of rebellious attitude towards his wife, was to go against her thrifty nature and adorn the front end of his mini van with a ‘bra”!
One day, Dan left his ‘bra’ behind and came home wearing a shiny new candy apple red corvette instead. It looks like the van was traded in for this gorgeous sexy rolling piece of penis envy. After the ‘big wow’ fell out of your dropped jaw, was your next thought the same as mine “now there’s a guy whose wife is going to kill him”? Where are the kids going to sit? Is Dan a classic case of a man having a mid life crisis?!”
Will his ‘search” for himself end here or will Dan take it a step further? It seems that several of the guys in Dan’s office have traded their wives of 3o years for 30 yr.old wives. We don’t know if Dan knows any 30 yr; old women so we will have to wait and see about that. Dan seems to be the poster boy for Middle Aged Men in crisis but what about woman? Are they immune to mid life angst and do men and woman manifest their symptoms in the same way? Joan Rivers and her G-force facelift might be the perfect example of a woman who is still searching for more in her life but can’t get past her mirror. We often joke about woman and their hot flashes, but do they wake up all sweaty and then head out in the morning to buy sexy cars or is there another measure of being unsatisfied they go for? I have a few lady friends who were the very last women in the world I EVER expected to radically deviate from their MOM role. It seemed at 40 something, they woke up one day and traded their beautifully decorated home, mommy and wifely duties for a basement apartment and freedom. Did it mean they loved their children less? Nope, it just meant that they were compelled to find out who they were after being a mom and wife. Yes, a few became what is commonly referred to today as Cougars, woman who prey on younger men, but for the most part, they seemed to be genuinely seeking themselves. Either this was something that was lost, or something they never had in the first place.
So is Mid life Crisis a valid condition or an excuse to be selfish and make up for poor choices along the way? Is it a human condition that we will all experience in varying degrees as we pass through their middle ages, or is it reserved for those who share certain personality traits? Is it possible that it is related to female menopause or male Andropause? Do hormones have anything to do with the ‘stress and distress of those in the eye of this storm? Are these people as out of control as they sometimes seem to be?
I am not a doctor and do not know the answer to these questions but I do know as a Life Coach and a woman in her middle years, that there seems to be a great many people in this age category who are seeking and searching for something that will fill a part of them that is missing. They have a great desire for something more in their life, but what that MORE is they don’t know. It is a time of personal reflection and for some breaking out of a mold that has held them for many years. Perhaps you know someone who has quit their executive position or walked out on their 30 year marriage. It doesn’t always make sense, this behaviour, but there is common theme. CHANGE!
It seems that many are seeking their destiny, and the meaning of life. They want to know what their purpose is and where they fit into the Grand Scheme. They want to know what this thing called LIFE is all about, and they are seeking their soul, their soul mates and questioning long held beliefs. Spirituality is a common theme, and many search for their connection to something larger than the known world and for answers they go to the Unknown world
A metamorphosis is taking place and I see it as our third great struggle of life. The first is being born, the second is adolescence and now this time I will coin, The Emergence of Self. The emergence because it is our true self we are seeking. Not the daughter, son, mother, father, doctor, cook or any other label we have put on ourselves, but OUR true SELF , our true soul, the nature of who we really are. It seems this is a time where anything can happen and does.
Sometimes those who are most surprised by what happens next are the seekers themselves.
As adolescents we go through the change together, it is expected, so resources are in place to help us deal with it. Our families and teachers are there for us, supporting the change. Now in our mid 40’s- 50’s, it seems we face this change alone. No longer are our buddies, families or teachers there to support us. In fact, it may be that those closest to you don’t understand why you are contemplating the things you are. They may argue that you are making a big mistake and you don’t know what you are doing. Even if this is true, and in many cases it is, there doesn’t seem to be anything to do about it except ride it out.
Have you ever wondered at the timing of all this? Why is it so important to KNOW right now? Why upset the apple cart at this stage of your life?
Perhaps it is so that our time here is not wasted in the larger sense. Many of us as children had a dream or a goal. I think that this first memory may be the truth of who we really are and why we are here.
How many of us have stayed true to who we were? I know that there have been many times in my life that duty as a daughter, a mother, and even a wife have taken precedence over who I wanted to be. So maybe this frustration, this time of wanting is really the only way to help us break the chains of ‘good behaviour’ and allows us the time to search for our lost selves or if you believe in the metaphysical then perhaps we are waking up to what brought us here in the first place, our contract or mission. Have you felt that there is a master plan but you haven’t been let in on the details?
The there is a great secret, albeit unknown to you, and almost like a cosmic joke, it is at your expense. Why does this transformation take place? Is there a way of escaping it? I think not. It seems to me a natural progression to a higher state of being if we are lucky. It seems we all go through the process, albeit at slightly different ages and degrees of angst. I believe that this is one “Crisis” that is supposed to happen and rather than describe it as a crisis we could rename it as a transformation. We have all have known a “Dan”, a 50 something guy who finally buys his corvette, or his Harley, leaves his wife or leaves his job- any or all of these are fairly common and classic crisis behaviour. As I said earlier, Women are not immune either. We can all envision the Cougar, a woman in her mid to late 40’s who used to be Suzy Homemaker and is now on the prowl for a 2o something guy to make up for her boring life.
On the outside, this behaviour seems selfish and I suppose in some ways it is. But remember, this Emergence is about self and change and change never comes easily. There is always a struggle and in this instance, doing what is opposite in nature of what one has always been done may be one of the catalysts to the next step. These folks are in the midst of a chemical and physical transformation. Alchemy is taking place. When all is said and done, they will be different.
They are reaching out for their world to make sense and hopefully when all is said and done, they will have found peace. Peace within themselves and peace with their outside world. We know that these folks want more, but and the sexy car, younger mate is not the whole answer because change on the outside does not equate with change on the inside. I feel that this transformation may actually be harder on us than adolescence. When we are young, we have out parents to support us. We walk en mass with our friends to school and we are all going through stuff together. But mid life, we do that one by ourselves and many times, we wreak havoc on the lives of those we love the most. This change, this metamorphosis, cannot likely be stopped, anymore that you can stop breathing, but for some, it comes with great cost. Our bodies change- we don’t child bear anymore. We have wrinkles and grey hairs sprouting from places they aren’t supposed too. Our skin on our hands begin to thin and become translucent, showing the blue of our veins. We fear we are losing our sexuality, our vitality and our ability to be ‘seen’ as one of the players. We fear this invisibility and we fight to be more than we are, because we want to stay in the game. We also know that we are more than we are showing. We wake to an unknown dream or assignment and strive to fulfill our life’s mission, but the guide book is missing. The map is gone and our hands flail in the wind seeking something solid to grip onto. It’s a turbulent time until one day, you wake up and your life begins to make sense again. You start to realize what is important. Who you are and what you are passionate about. You know what you love and whom you love and you have a sense of the greater picture. You know why you are here. You understand your ties to the past and what you bring to the future. The Emergence of Self will happen whether you plan for it or not. At some point in your life mid life, an amazing discovery of self will take place, and I hope that you complete your transformation all the way until you feel at peace within your heart and the world around you. For those of you who are wondering what signs to look for or if you are currently experiencing your transformation, below you can find a list of common features:
Typical features of mid-life include:
Experiencing healthy dissatisfaction……..yearning for more…..is this it??
What worked before no longer rocks your world.
The changing body becomes your guide.
You get used to uncertainty
You want to give back
You become much more than you thought you were.
Your values change significantly
You are getting a hefty whiff of you own mortality.
The emergence of wisdom
Mid-life challenges that Coaching can assist with:
• Finding your Passion
• Removing FEAR from the Change Process
• Learning how to acknowledge and accept others
• Learning to Communicate at heart level
• Reconnect with your SELF
• Leaving Guilt Behind
• Trusting your instincts
• Creating a vision
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Prostate brachytherapy (pronounced bray-kee-ther-uh-pee), the implantation of radioactive seeds into the prostate gland, is one of the standard methods of successfully treating prostate cancer. The tiny radioactive seeds are smaller than grains of rice.
A prostate seed implant may be the only type of radiation therapy needed by a man with low-risk prostate cancer or it may be prescribed in addition to external beam radiation therapy in men with intermediate- and high- risk prostate cancer. The goal is to eradicate cancer cells while preserving healthy, surrounding tissue, such as the bladder, the urethra (the tube that connects the bladder to the penis), and the rectum.
The advantages of prostate seed implants are significant. Fist, the procedure requires only minor surgery, usually causing fewer side effects than other treatments. Also, it is generally a same day, outpatient procedure. Men usually are able to return to work within several days, as long as they feel well enough. In addition, recent reports suggest that the procedure, when performed on properly selected men, is at least as effective as surgery to cure prostate cancer. Radiation exposure to other people is minimal, so restrictions do not apply unless the man is returning to a setting where a young child or pregnant woman is present.
Treatment Planning
Men undergo a pre-implant ultrasound study to determine where the radioactive seeds (and the needles to implant them) should be placed. A transrectal ultrasound, wherein an ultrasound probe is carefully positioned in the rectum to view the entire prostate, is performed. Images of the prostate are taken and are transferred to a special treatment planning computer, which evaluates the position of the prostate and generates a three-dimensional plan that dictates the precise placement of the seeds.
Preparation for the Procedure
Most candidates for prostate brachytherapy undergo blood tests, a chest x-ray and an EKG several days prior to the implant, in order to be approved for anesthesia. On the morning of the procedure, men receive an enema to help optimize the quality of the transrectal ultrasound images. In addition, blood thinners are discontinued several days prior to the procedure to help diminish the risk of bleeding.
Day of the Procedure
Typically, men who are scheduled to undergo seed placement arrive early in the morning. Next, the man is taken to the operating room for the procedure, where he undergoes either general or spinal anesthesia. Then, the radiation oncologist and the urologist work as a team to implant the seeds into the prostate, using transrectal ultrasound to guide the placement.
The Implant Process
Using the treatment plan and fluoroscopy (real-time x-ray), the radiation oncologist places the seeds within the prostate. The entire procedure usually takes less than one hour. After the seed placement, the urologist performs a cystoscopy (a procedure in which a slender, flexible, fiber optic scope is inserted from the penis into the bladder), to look for and remove any seeds that dislodged in the bladder or the urethra. Within the few next days, a CT scan is obtained to verify the placement of the seeds.
Prostate Seed Implants: Recovery
Because prostate implants do not involve major surgery, side effects are rarely severe. The most common side effects reported by men after prostate seed implants are:
• Urinary frequency (60-70%)
• Urinary burning (50%)
• Urinary urgency (50%)
• Erectile dysfunction (30%)
• Blood in the urine (20-30%)
• Increased bowel movements and bowel urgency (5%)
• Fatigue (20%)
• Pelvic pain (20%)
• The need for temporary catheter placement (10-15%)
• Urinary incontinence (less than 1%)
In addition, up to 20 percent of men are found to have seed migration into their lungs. However, no detrimental effects have been reported. Infrequently, men have required trans-urethral resection, the “scraping” of the prostate gland via the penis, to relieve urinary obstruction after the seed placement.
Follow-Up
Men who undergo prostate brachytherapy report for follow-up visits four weeks after the procedure and every three months thereafter. A PSA blood test and a physical exam are performed to assess the status of the prostate.
The good news is that prostate seed implants are usually successful at controlling prostate cancer within the gland. Such local control of disease correlates with rendering men free from prostate cancer.
