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LIFE AFTER BIRTH: THE FIRST 6 WEEKS
Life after birth can be chaotic, especially if this is your first baby. Taking care of your newborn is hard work and won’t be much fun until he or she develops a personality. In case you didn’t know, a newborn doesn’t laugh or smile, it can’t play or even hold its own head up without a supporting hand. All it can do is eat, sleep, dirty diapers, pass gas, throw up and cry. Despite all of this, you will – believe it or not – love your little tot more than anything else in the world. Moreover, you will learn a lot about yourself and your partner as you both navigate through these initial days of parenthood.
Sex (or lack thereof)
You should know that sex is off-limits for at least 6 weeks after your partner gives birth. Don’t forget that she just delivered a fair-sized human through a very tiny birth canal and her body will need time to heal. Your gal’s doctor will ask to see her about six weeks after delivery for a full physical and emotional post-baby follow-up. At this visit, the doctor will check to see how her wounds are healing. If everything is good, your partner will get the green light for sex. However, this doesn’t mean that she will be as keen and eager to get back into the game. She’ll likely be tired from the whole pregnancy ordeal and from the added responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Help out as much as possible and be patient. Her interest in sex will return…just don’t push her too hard.
Sleep (or lack thereof)
The good news is that babies need a lot of sleep – about 15-16 hours a day. Unfortunately, newborns don’t have regular sleep patterns and don’t sleep for long hours at a time. This means that you won’t have regular sleep patterns either. Get used to napping throughout the day. And if that doesn’t work for you, then get used to sleep deprivation. You and your partner may feel like you are losing your minds as you quickly realize how cranky and dysfunctional you can be after several nights of disrupted sleep. Hang in there. After about 8 or 10 weeks, your baby will start to sleep through the night (approximately five consecutive hours) and your sleep-deprived, zombie-like state will be a thing of the past.
You may with to alternate night shifts to maximize the amount of uninterrupted sleep each partner gets. There really is no need for both of you to get up every time the baby needs to be fed, coddled or changed.
Caring for Your Tiny Tot
After your shopping spree for nursery items, layettes and strollers, you may have thought that you were fully ready for your baby. While these purchases were necessary, they are only a small part of what you need to survive postnatal care. There will be many new and strange things for you and your partner to learn. The ins-and-outs of feeding, bathing, diapering and umbilical cord care are in no way intuitive. Don’t get scared or discouraged by your new-found incompetence. Chances are that your partner is also incompetent in this area. It’s okay to make mistakes; every new parent does. The good news is that the parental learning curve is steep. You and your partner will quickly develop the skills needed to care for your tot. To give you a helping hand, here is are a few pointers on baby care basics:
Feeding
The first step is to decide your method of feeding – breast milk or formula? There are many benefits of breastfeeding, including nutritional and emotional advantages. Breast milk is a complete food source that contains hormones and disease-fighting compounds that are absent in formula. Nursing also helps build a special bond between mother and baby. Studies show that babies thrive on the skin-to-skin contact, cuddling and holding that occurs during breastfeeding. However, there are a variety of reasons why many women do not nurse. They may not be able to produce enough milk or they may have to return to work soon after birth and are not available to nurse the baby throughout the day. Whatever the reason, your gal should not feel guilty or uncomfortable with deciding to bottle-feed. There are many excellent formulas available which are highly nutritious. Speak with your partner’s physician or pediatrician about recommended formulas.
Regardless of your method of feeding, you should know that most newborns eat about 8 times a day (approximately every two to three hours). However, you shouldn’t try to set scheduled eating times during the first few weeks after birth. Let your baby eat whenever he or she seems hungry.
Bathing
Because your baby’s umbilical cord will need to heal, it is very important that you keep it dry to prevent infection. After about two weeks, the gross looking stump (i.e., remnants of the umbilical cord) will fall off and your baby will be left with a cute little belly button. In the meantime, take extra care not to wet the umbilical cord during bathing. The best way to do this is to give your tot sponge baths until the cord heals.
To give a sponge bath, you will need a stable surface, a soft washcloth and lukewarm water. Make sure that you test the water temperature before applying the cloth to your baby to prevent scalding him or her. Your elbow or the inner part of your wrist is a good place to test water temperature. Your hand is not a good guide since it is not very sensitive enough to tell how hot or cold the water really is. Now you can begin wiping your baby gently with the moistened washcloth. Begin by wiping your baby’s eyes (from inside to outside), ears and under arms. Then you can move onto legs and genitalia. When washing the bottom, make sure you wipe from front to back to avoid bringing any feces near the genitals. If you have had your baby boy circumcised, then you will want to speak with your pediatrician about caring for the penis while it heals.
The most important thing to remember when bathing your baby is to NEVER leave him or her along – not even for a second. Babies squirm around a lot, so you should always keep your eyes and one hand on your little one during bath time. The same rule applies when you are changing your baby’s diaper.
Changing Diapers
Don’t avoid this responsibility because it you have never changed a diaper before. Because babies pee and poop so often, you will spend a lot of time changing diapers. Take advantage of this precious time with junior. You may also have to develop silly and immature techniques to comfort your baby if he/she does not enjoy the diapering process. As ridiculous as you may feel, this is actually an important part of establishing a parent-tot bond.
While it may be dirty work, diapering is not rocket science. For easy to follow instructions, make sure to read our article on How to Change a Diaper at www.thefunkystork.com.
Caring for Yourself and Your Partner As flighty and silly as it might sound, self-care is important. Neither you nor your partner is doing your tot any good by neglecting yourselves. Try a shift-work system where you schedule an hour or two during the day where one parent will care for the baby alone. This way, the other parent can practice self-care – taking a long, warm bath, going for a run, doing yoga, reading or just going for coffee with a friend.
You will find that self-care will also help maintain civility in your relationship with your partner. By making time to do something for yourself, you will find that you won’t feel as overwhelmed by your initiation to parenthood. And don’t forget that this rule also applies to your partner. In fact, she will likely need more time for self-care than you since she will also be recovering from both 40 weeks of pregnancy and hours of childbirth. Also be aware that your partner is particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression during the first weeks after birth.
Postpartum depression, which is a more serious case of the baby blues, can begin as early as a few days after delivery. Experts don’t know the real cause of postpartum depression, but they suspect that it has something to do with changes hormonal levels. Stress, disturbed sleeping patterns and changes in daily routine can all contribute to postpartum depression. Signs and symptoms include restlessness, irritability, changes in appetite, sadness and anxiety. If your partner is experiencing any of these symptoms or if you sense that something isn’t right with the way your partner is behaving, you should consult your physician immediately. Untreated, postpartum depression can develop into postpartum psychosis, which is a serious mental illness that requires medical intervention. Both you and your partner should take her postnatal psychological state very seriously.
On a lighter note, you and your partner make an extra effort to keep the romance in your relationship. While your baby will require a lot of your time and attention, he or she will also be taking a lot of naps. Nap-time may be the perfect (and only) time for your and your partner to romance each other. Snuggle, watch a movie, make dinner or enjoy a glass of wine together. Whatever you decide to do, take a minute to set the mood with candles and relaxing music.
Another important factor to consider is how involved you want your parents or partner’s parents to be. Parental intervention can add some seriously unneeded stress to the situation and unnecessary strain on your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t reject offers to help. Being a new parent is not going to be easy and you will need all the help that you can get. Just remember to set limits and don’t be afraid to tell your relatives what you need (and don’t need). The last thing you want is to have one overbearing relatives overstepping their boundaries and overstaying their welcome.
Now What?
Things change after about 6 weeks of caring for your newborn. You and your partner will be different people, your relationship will be redefined and your tot will begin to act more like a baby than a squirmy alien. Life will get easier from here on out. Your tot will become a toddler and will begin roaming around the house. Make sure you are prepared for junior’s curiosity by baby-proofing your home early.
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The internet was just born and already it has 6 billion websites, one for every person on Earth today. Human beings are obsessed with writing and even more obsessed with Paris Hilton, the number one search on the internet. Lets get to know a little about our modern day Aphrodite aka Venus, the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Sex worshipped by the Greek and Roman people 4 thousand years ago. Paris Hilton proves once again that sex sells both hamburgers and religion.
The Greek Goddess Aphrodite Festival is called the Aphrodisiac, which was celebrated all over Greece especially in Athens and Corinth. Christina Onassis was the heiress of Aristotle Onassis the Greek shipping billionaire. We are talking real money here. Christina was Aristotle’s only living child, a real heiress, like Jennifer Gates, 9, and Phoebe Gates, 3, the two daughters of the world’s richest man, send me the Bill Gates, at $51 billion dollars and counting. Bill and Melinda French of Dallas Texas have given so much money to charity that they have completely eradicated poverty in Africa. Paris Hilton, if she is lucky enough to make it into her grandfather’s will will be lucky to inherit one million dollars. The One with the money, Paris’ great grandfather Conrad Hilton, (whose son Nicky was the first husband of Elizabeth Taylor), left the grand total of nothing to his 4 children. He married his third wife at 87 and then left his entire fortune to the Catholic Church. Paris’ grandfather Barron Hilton went to court to contest the will and he won, becoming the first person ever to defeat the Vatican in court, walking away with a few hundred million. He has 8 kids. They have kids. Paris’ slice of the pie could be $200,000, walking around money for the Sultan of Brunei, whose oil fields America is now spending its blood to protect. That is hot – not.
Being an heiress is normally a mirage, as Christina Onassis can testify to. Have you ever noticed how many pop icons cash in on Jesus’ story right in their names? It’s like people’s minds are like search engines responding either positively or negatively to certain keywords like Paris Hilton. Madonna, the Virgin Mary, Christ Ina Aguilera, Britney Spears, I have a pain in my side, said Jesus. Is that a spear in my ribcage or are you just happy to see me? Jesus Christ was a Jewish Rabbi painted by the Greek New Testament writers with the Godlike qualities of the Greek Goddess Eurynome and Bellerophon and his flying horse Pegasus and several other Greek deities. You can read all about it at The Temple of Love. 20 million Christian and Jewish children lost their lives in WW2 aka The War Against the Jews because according to stories which God of Mount Sinai aka Jesus aka Allah aka Elohim Himself endlessly calls man made legends and fairy tales right in the Holy Bibles, the Jewish people killed this half real half fictitious character 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem. Humans have a problem separating fact from fiction. At least Paris Hilton is a real person. I’ve seen her. I’ve touched her. I’ve kissed her. Her lips are as candy. Her legs are as ladders.
Sex sells. Paris Hilton was a nobody, an extra in a series of B movies until the videotape of her coiting Rick Salomon in “1 Night in Paris” showed up on the internet last year at the same time that The Simple Life debuted. People are fascinated by infamy. Did you know that the male cat’s penis has spines which point backwards? Upon withdrawal of the penis the spikes rake the walls of the female’s vagina. The female needs this stimulation for ovulation to begin. Paris Hilton, outraged over the release of the video, raked in $400,000 plus a percentage of the profits of the film which shot her to super stardom. Without that video Paris Hilton is serving cocktails at Studio 54 today instead of dancing on the bar topless with the world’s media murdering each other for a snapshot of Paris Hilton half nude.
Paris Whitney Hilton was named after Whitney Houston because her name wasn’t famous enough. During the Aphrodite Festival, the Aphrodisiac, in Corinth Greece, the men had intercourse with the Priestesses of Aphrodite. This was considered a method of worshipping Aphrodite. What did you get for Christmas? In the Holy Temple in Jerusalem the Priests lured the people in with The Temple Prostitutes who lived in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. King Solomon who built the Holy Temple had 900 wives, concubines and mistresses. Compared to him Jesus was a mere piker with his Mary Magdalene and a few of her girlfriends. Do you hear what I’m saying girlfriend? At least Paris Hilton is a real person.
Aphrodite was born as an 18 year old Paris Hilton in the Sea off of Cyprus after Cronus cut off Uranus’ genitals and the elder God’s blood and semen dropped on the Sea where they began to foam. Aphrodite rose out of the foam in her 18 year old birthday suit. When did people become so prudish? Going wild over 1 Night in Paris? 4,000 years ago mating with hookers in the Temple was normal. In 1879 William-Adolphe Bouguereau painted the Birth of Venus, (Venus was Aphrodite’s Roman name), which showed the full face on nude 18 year old Aphrodite being born rising from the sea foam. How did Hugh Hefner get to be called risqué? And where did all the paintings and likenesses of Jesus come from? There isn’t one single word of description of Jesus in the Holy Bible or anywhere else.
Sex sold religion then and it still sells it today. The Las Vegas Hilton boasts the world’s largest free standing sign, “Welcome Idiots”. The hijackers on 911 fully expected to hit the twin towers then immediately wake up in eternal paradise with 72 virgins and wine with no side effects, because they read it in their Bible. Lot, the only righteous man in sin city, (Tony the Ant came in second) Sodom and Gomorrah was saved by God and rewarded with wine and sex with his two virgin daughters. Oscar Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas with 85% of the vote was the mob’s lawyer who represented Meyer Lansky, Ace Rosenthal, Tony the Ant and corrupt San Diego mayor Roger Hedgecock to get the job. He recently said on Television, “Those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on Television.” Violence sells too. At least Paris Hilton is real.
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Pills are one of the staples of the penis enlargement process. Every man interested in this field has heard about at least a half-dozen pills and is familiar with their effects on the body. Many have actually tried them and have a pretty good idea about the limited effectiveness of penis enlargement pills. The Internet is buzzing with the success stories of men who tried combinations of enlargement techniques that include pills. A good number of them used to be very skeptical about anything related to penis enlargement, but have since changed their opinions. It all depends on finding the right mix of techniques and sticking to the program.
The basic idea behind all these pills is that the penis can be enlarged by promoting the flow of blood to the pelvic area. And they’re doing a great job of promoting that blood flow. A wide range of ingredients, containing probably all vasodilators known to man plus some of the most potent herbal and artificial libido boosters, are used to give the pills a strong influence over sex life, erect size, flaccid size and the level of pleasure achieved during sex. But is this enough to guarantee the success of a penis enlargement program?
Judging by the loud headlines of websites selling these pills and by the forums that deal with penis enlargement, many men have actually put the pills to good use. Tens and hundreds of them have managed to add at least an inch to their penises and are very content with the results. It takes time and it takes patience and persistence, but it can be done. However, one thing that most websites selling pills won’t tell you is that the pills alone are not enough to do the trick. It’s just like taking diet pills: you have to exercise.
This is a very common misconception among the biggest part of the penis enlargement community. But the fact remains that pills are a great supplement, a mixture of substances that make enlargement much easier. Simply promoting the flow of blood to the pelvic area can only give the user a slight increase in the erect length as the sponge-like tissue of the penis expands to accommodate a bit more blood than usual. And that’s about all pills can do on their own. However, you can combine the pills with another form of penis enlargement, such as penis exercises or a traction device.
Penis exercises and traction devices provide the missing part of the enlargement process. The tissues that make up the penis get the exercise or traction needed to force the body to adapt by tearing the cells apart and making them grow in number. Exercises and traction benefit a lot from the increase in blood flow caused by the pills, although these approaches can do the job on their own. But combining a traction device with penis enlargement exercises is the best way to get those two inches many men are dreaming off. And if you’re really impatient, buy some pills, too. Just don’t rely on them to do the job alone.
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Suleiman the Magnificent was a legendary lover but how did he maintain such a strong libido?
This article will let you know some of his secrets and some of the colorful history that surrounded his life including classic sexual positions that have stood the test of time and are renowned for providing both partners with sexual satisfaction.
He ruled the Ottoman Empire from 1520 to 1566, and was said to have made love daily at least twice to five times right up until his death until his death.
How did he do it? Is it myth?
Doubtful it was only myth as his sexual prowess was well known as well as his military might and his refinement of the Law.
In spite of his great love for his Roxelana (a Russian slave that became his first wife and Queen mother), he was a daily visitor to his harem, and in fact, spent most of his days there.
To keep so many women happy, or at least to try, Suleiman had to be in great physical shape, and also an expert in the art of lovemaking.
According to much literature written about him, as well as traditional well known stories (told in Turkey and other parts of the once all-powerful Ottoman empire)
Suleiman’s diet & exercise regime
Suleiman followed a daily routine of martial exercise (usually horse riding with the use of weapons), fencing, and then hours in his hamam (steam bath) a combination of physical exertion combined with adequate rest in between and a special diet to keep his libido strong.
His diet was rich is pistacio nuts, and honey, but an hour before entering the harem for sex he would eat a specially spiced honey with 41 herbs.
The recipe was kept secret, and to reveal it meant death for the proto-pharmacists who concocted it for him. Many of these herbs have been covered in our other articles but the essence of his diet was to eat raw foods full of nutrients
Today alas we tend to eat processed foods and lack energy in times gone by this was not so and the lesson is to eat as “naturally from the earth” as possible and avoid processed foods. Energy was provided y good carbs such as brown rice an excellent food and meat was lean and plentiful with an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables.
It is said also the Suleiman’s physicians advised him to daily eat fresh eggs with white bread, which will aid in sperm production, increase of libido, and sexual prowess.
Suleiman’s sexual preferences, according to letters written by Roxelana, were the third, eighth and a special position called Doc-al-arz, from the Arab Classic, The Perfumed Garden.
The Yawning Position (3rd from the Perfumed Garden)
The woman lies on her back, lifting her left leg halfway to her chest.
The man does not lie, but suspends himself between her lifted and laying leg, supporting him with outstretched arms and is actually on his knees.
He enters the woman, and gives a strong thrusting movement. This is a great clitoral and g-spot stimulation posture, and if the man is truly vigorous, he can bring a great deal of satisfaction to himself and his partner.
The 8th Position from the Perfumed Garden
The woman lies prone (on her stomach) with her legs apart.
The man then enters her from the rear, but his legs are, instead of between the woman’s, outside them (at least one leg is; the other is between the woman’s two legs).
The man is resting on his knees, but is not laying on top of the woman, but is having his torso straight, resting his outstretched arm on the woman’s neck or shoulder. The man trusts vigorously, using hip motion. The woman will be in ecstasy very quickly, and should experience a profound orgasm.
Doc-al-Arc (Pounding on the spot). Suleiman’s Most Favorite
The man sits on the edge of the bed. The woman sits on the man’s lap, facing him (this is most important), and wraps her legs around his waste.
The man enters her, and keeps his penis fully inserted at all times. The trusting is done by rotational movement, and the woman doing a kind go grind (as seen in belly dancing), pushing and rubbing her vulva and thus clitoris against the man’s pubis area.
Orgasm comes very quickly and profoundly to the woman, and if the man can control his own climax, the woman will have the opportunity at multiple orgasms.
What can you learn from this?
Well a lot actually! The reason Suleiman maintained such a strong libido was down to good diet and exercise now you don’t have to workout like he did but exercise and a diet of natural foods with potent herbs will keep libido strong.
The sexual positions above are from classic literature of the day and have been known throughout history to provide great satisfaction for both partners, so try them and see!
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At a 35th birthday party for rapper P. Diddy in November of 2004, actress Tara Reid exposed more than just a left mammary; she exposed the truth about breast implant complications and the horrifying effect that breast augmentation surgery can have on a woman’s body. While she posed on the red carpet for photographers, the top of Reid’s dress fell, exposing her left breast and what looked like a completely reconstructed nipple.
The actress, evidently mortified as photographers snapped pictures, fell prey to the all-too common complications associated with breast implant surgery. But, this wasn’t even the first time that Tara Reid’s breasts became water cooler fodder.
Shortly after filming American Pie, the world noticed as her breasts grew from a measly A-cup to D-size overnight. It became immediately apparent to all of America that the actress underwent major breast implant surgery at the very young age of 18.
At the time, no one realized the extent of the actress’ battle with her breast implants, probably due to some hard PR work on behalf of the actress. But, in 2004 as Reid and her augmented breast strolled down the red carpet on the way to Diddy’s 35th birthday bash, no amount of PR could hide the fact that the actress suffered from some horrific complications associated with her breast implants.
Every year in this country, thousands upon thousands of women undergo some type of breast enhancement surgery, but thousands also have their breast implants removed due to associated complications that most commonly include breast implant rupture or shifting, to more serious complications such as chronic infection of the breast, in some cases leading to breast cancer.
Luckily for the women who choose surgical methods of breast augmentation, no paparazzi follow them around, waiting patiently for a breast to slip and expose their secret breast implant complications. If America could feel the pain that everyday women experience for larger breasts on a regular basis, it would certainly result in a sharp decline in the number of breast implants performed by plastic surgeons each year, especially for women who decide to go under the knife at such a young age as actress Tara Reid.
Fortunately today’s woman can choose from a veritable buffet of breast enhancement options. No longer do women need to suffer the horrific complications associated with breast implants in order to achieve the larger breasts that they desire. In today’s market, there are other safer, all-natural breast enhancement alternatives for a woman looking to increase the size of her breasts.
These options boast safety for any woman, in an over-the-counter alternative, with none of the side effects or complications involved with breast implant surgery, and a fraction of the cost associated with breast enlargement surgery.
As for Tara Reid, reporters now argue that the actress actually has the ugliest breasts in the world. But, it’s pretty apparent that the complications that the actress suffered due to her breast implants are more common than women want to admit.
Fortunately, many women can look in the mirror happily and appreciate their natural breasts, and others who aren’t as happy with the way they look, choose safer, more natural breast enhancement methods of increasing their breast size.
