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Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness. On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child. One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women. This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men. A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man. In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as children; most men feel no such permission is given to them about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged. They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability. A male victim smothers these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous. A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate. A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult: >> Distrust of women. >> Fear of intimacy. >> No separate identity. >> Readily feels guilt. >> Hard time to accept compliments. >> Holds back emotions. >> Protects abuser(s). >> Sexual difficulties. >> Seeks abuser's approval. >> Constantly apologises. >> Fearful. >> Eager to care for others. >> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*) The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Helen. Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb. Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists. Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.” As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of his brothers, sneered at their choices of wives, hated his job where he felt put upon, especially by female colleagues. When Ronald spoke about his mother, he whined. Long stories of how she favored one or other of his brothers, how he cringed in her presence, how he avoided visits to her house yet was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.” Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to connect his present-day woes with unpleasant incidents in his childhood. This was accomplished with what hypnotherapists call an “affect link.” You allow yourself to feel a particular emotion, such as grief. As you continue to experience the feeling, the hypnotherapist asks you to recall an earlier time when you felt the same way. Ronald's confused mix of bitterness, rage and sense of abandonment, swiftly drew up a memory of his mother: “I'm six years old. Mummy keeps telling me I'm her favorite. She tells me to come into her bed. It's warm there. I fall asleep, snuggled beside her. I wake up. She's moving my leg up and down over this hairy place between her legs. She's breathing funny. I'm scared. [Sobs]. She opens her eyes a little and tells me it's okay. My knee is wet. I try to pull away but she holds onto me, tells me to be a good boy, do this for Mummy. She seems out of breath. I'm scared. Then she shakes and cries out. I'm even more scared and I feel bad, like something's really wrong. I ask Mummy if she's all right. She turns to me with a big smile, hugs me and says I'm her little man and everything is fine. [More sobs, reddening of face]. “But everything is not fine. I don't understand. Mummy tells me this will be our special secret. She seems happy. And she likes me best. So I keep quiet. And whenever she asks me I let her use my leg to rub her where she wants. [Later Ronald described other sexual activity his mother initiated]. I begin to like it, too. When I get old enough to have an erection, Mummy plays with my penis. I really like that. But at the same time it feels kind of weird. This stuff went on till I was eleven. I found out at school what sex was supposed to be, and how bad it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.” With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage. Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a child. Helen had made no secret of her broad sexual experience prior to meeting Ronald; indeed, she was proud of it. But her knowledge of the carnal world and his relative innocence (sex with only one woman: his mother) repeated the power pattern Ronald had suffered as a boy. When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked. Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created. Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been. A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald. The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy. You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt. Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds. Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy. Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women. Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women. All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman. Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis. But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis. Mothers Are Not The Only Women Who Abuse Little Boys As far as Dennis knew, he had not been molested by his mother. Actually, he was not even sure who his biological mother was. He had been born into a large, extended criminal family. He had lived in seven different homes by the time he was five. All but one were homes of his aunts, cousins or siblings. He got used to calling each aunt in turn “mother.” The woman listed on his birth certificate showed no more, and no less, maternal interest in Dennis than did any of her sisters who raised him. From as far back as he could remember, Dennis had been abused: abandoned, ignored, ill-fed, beaten, locked in a closet. The therapist helped Dennis sort out the multitude of feelings that swirled within him. Finally, Dennis said he was ready to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what might be uncovered. In one way, he was right to be wary. But what was uncovered, awful as it was, freed Dennis from the last symbolic chains that linked him to his abusive family and their criminal ways. In hypnosis, Dennis traced his attacks of trembling to some disgusting sexual behavior of one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.” Now that he knew what lay at the root of his rage and his attacks, Dennis was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done liberated Dennis from any lingering loyalty to his criminal relatives (all of whom were involved in drug deals, prostitution, extortion, etc.). Now Dennis felt fully comfortable with his decision to apply to the local police training college. *Blanchard, Geral. (1987). 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Here are 5 questions to flex your mental muscle to. The answers and explanations are at the end - no cheating now! RULES: There are no trick questions. You cannot ask the audience but I welcome you to 'Phone a Friend' (and forward this article onto them!). *Question 1: "What happens if you submit your website to Google more than once?" A. Nothing. B. You are at risk of being penalised for multiple submissions C. Your submission is bumped to the back of the queue *Question 2: "According to a survey conducted by AC Nielsen in December 2004 what did people state as their primary reason for doing their Christmas shopping online?" A. Saves time B. Better prices C. Ability to find a more personalized gift *Question 3: "In Internet terms, what is a 'spider'?" A. It's a virus that spreads using loopholes in certain web technologies B. It's a software tool that search engines use to retrieve information from websites C. It's another word for a person that browses websites *Question 4: "What is the industry average click through rate for banner advertisements? I.e. what percentage of all banner ads are actually clicked on?" A. 0.39% B. 1.39% C. 2.39% *Question 5: "According to the latest research from the Computer Industry Almanac what was the worldwide online population in 2004? I.e. how many of the people, worldwide, accessed the Internet at some point in 2004?" A. 934 million B. 714 million C. 579 million **THE ANSWERS Q.1 - "What happens if you submit your website to Google more than once?" A. Nothing. Google doesn't mind how many times you submit your website. However there are search engines out there that will penalise you for submitting too often. This is what Google says about submitting to its site: "You are free to submit as often as you wish. However, given the nature of our inclusion process your time is better spent improving the content and links of your site." Q.2 - "According to a survey conducted by AC Nielsen in December 2004 what did people state as their primary reason for doing their Christmas shopping online?" A. Saves time 78% of the 1007 people surveyed gave ‘Saves time' as their answer when asked their reasons for shopping online. The survey findings: Reasons for Shopping Online: Saves time 78% Better prices 51% More selection 43% Easier shipping 40% Ability to find a more personalized gift 28% More information available about the products 20% What this tells us is that people no longer view the Internet as a low-cost option. So perhaps you need to take a look at your own website and focus more on making the buying process as quick and simple as possible rather than trying to cut prices to attract buyers.. Q. 3 - "In Internet terms, what is a ‘spider'?" B. It's a software tool that search engines use to retrieve information from websites When your website is submitted to a search engine the search engine sends out a ‘spider' to visit your site and retrieve all the information from it. The spider then returns to the search engine with all the information that is then added to the search engine's database. The results you see when you use a search engine are not live snapshots of websites. Instead, the results show the information that the spider collected the last time it visited each website. This is why it is sometimes possible to see a link that looks fine in the search engine results and then click on it to find it no longer exists. This is because the search engine spider has yet to revisit this website and update the search engine's records. Q.4 - "What is the industry average click through rate for banner advertisements? I.e. what percentage of all banner ads are actually clicked on?" A. 0.39% The latest studies indicate that only 0.39% of banners shown are actually clicked on. With powerful graphics and enticing offers this average clickthrough rate can be improved ten-fold or more. But the point remains that advertising by using banners alone no longer appears to be viable route unless, that is, the costs of using this method are exceptionally low. Q.5 - "According to the latest research from the Computer Industry Almanac what was the worldwide online population in 2004? I.e. how many of the people, worldwide, accessed the Internet at some point in 2004?" A. 934 million It's predicted that this year the online population will hit 1 billion! Not all of these people will be your potential customers but no matter which way you look at - there has never been a better time to have a well-marketed website! **SCORES - How Many Did You Get Right? 0 - 2: Don't forget - you learn more in this life from your mistakes than you do from anything else! 3 - 4: Well done! You obviously know your stuff or you're good at guessing! 5 out of 5: Outstanding! Top marks for you! Michael Cheney is the Author of The Website Marketing BibleTM: "High five Michael! Your bible is superb! The world needs to read it and learn from it." - Jay Conrad Levinson, Author of "Guerrilla Marketing" http://www.websitemarketingbible.com [You have my permission to use this article in your newsletter, on your website or anywhere else for that matter as long as it remains unedited and includes the resource box at the bottom.] Website Marketer's Enemy No. 1 It's about an inch across by half an inch tall. It's quite innocuous and yet this silent killer reaps havoc every second of every day on your efforts to build your online empire. What is it? The DELETE key! 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*** Natural Breast Enhancement**** The past decade has seen a significant rise and notice in the validity of herbal treatment for ailments and cosmetic improvements notwithstanding the area of natural breast enhancement. Most of the current breast enhancement products promise anywhere to ‘definite improvement in firmness’ to ‘within 1-3 months time’ a gain of at least one cup. All use some type of phyto-estrogenic derivative in varying ratios and other fillers. Although, the range of raw materials used (commonly red clover, fenugreek, fennel, and others) have shown historically, tribally, and scientifically to stimulate breast growth, it may not be valid for most of their costumers. What is not as widely heralded is the growing disappointment of the costumers of these commercial breast enlargement products. 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Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction in the under 40’s. It is almost impossible to say under what time scale ejaculation can be classed as premature as it is largely dependent on how long it takes your partner to climax. Thus if the man can last for 10 minutes but his partner needs 15 then it stands to reason that he needs to learn to last for longer. The fact that female arousal and orgasm require more time than male arousal is being increasingly recognized, and this may result in increased recognition and definition of premature ejaculation as a problem. It is thought that premature ejaculation is purely psychological with no known physical reason for early ejaculation. It is a controllable and the need to control it is largely dependent on how miserable early ejaculation makes an individual feel and how important prolonged love making is too their partner and their relationship. Most men tend to find that premature ejaculation is just an irritation which makes them ‘come’ with the first couple of minutes of lovemaking with little sexual satisfaction for either partner. Learning to control premature ejaculation is all about understanding your different levels of arousal and recognizing when you are close to your point of no return. Once you recognize how you feel when you are close to ejaculation and you understand what sexual activities get you that point quicker than others you will be at a stage where a few small changes to the way you make love will enable you to stay highly aroused, without ejaculating, for longer. You want to learn to control premature ejaculation the natural way, taking drugs will just impair your self awareness and distract you while you working towards ejaculatory control. Making love isn’t something you want to be masked with drugs, it’s something special, something sensual and something that should be enjoyed to the full. The best sex is when men learn to think about lovemaking with their whole body and not just their penis. It’s all about the complete arousal, the appreciation by every inch of the body. The early stages of lovemaking are equally as important as the last with the continual build of sexual tension just adding to the heightened and ultimate pleasure that controlling premature ejaculation can bring. You just need to learn that little step, to take your mind off the penis and concentrate on the complete unadulterated, sensual experience. One little pointer in your quest for control is to use masturbation as a way of learning when you are about to ejaculate and how to control it. By varying how you caress your penis you can learn to understand all your stages of sexual arousal, understand when you have reached a point of no return and learn how to control premature ejaculation. penile enlargement pills penis enlargement traction device vimax enlargement manhattan penis penile enlargement surgery cost vimax extender penis enargement traction device top penis enargement pills pnis enlargement pills product does pennis enlargement work

If you're expecting a baby boy you've probably noticed the circumcision debate. You may be wondering what you should do. Do you leave your son intact or have him circumcised? Circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the glans of the penis. You should know that it is an amputation. Part of your son’s body will be forcibly torn from his penis and cut off. Advantages and Disadvantages Some parents choose circumcision for religious reasons. It is a religious practice for families practicing Judaism and Islam. Many Christian families also choose circumcision. There are other cultures throughout the world that circumcision is a traditional practice in. Though routine circumcision is traditional for some religions and cultures it is important to realize that thoughts on the surgery are changing. Many religious groups are giving up circumcision and choosing new rituals that do not hurt young boys. The Jewish ritual of Brit Shalom is one example. It is a time of peace and a celebration of the blessing of a son. Other parents choose to have their sons circumcised because they believe it is cleaner. It is true that an uncircumcised penis requires a little more work to keep clean, but it is only slightly more work. In the early years of a young boy's life cleaning is exactly the same. As a boy grows he can be taught to retract his own foreskin and rinse with warm water – just a young girl is taught to gently wash her genitals. A circumcised penis is actually more susceptible to infection in the early days, when it is a raw, open wound. Throughout the diapered years a little boy has slightly less protection from his own feces and the chemicals and fragrances that may be in his diapers. A Trend on the Decine The current trend in circumcision is a decline. No medical bodies anywhere in the world recommend routine circumcision. Some government insurance programs are dropping their coverage of the procedure. Fewer families are choosing to have their baby boys circumcised. By the time your son reaches school age the locker room may have more intact boys than it does circumcised boys. Some fathers want their sons to be the same as them. This is an issue you and your partner need to consider together. I encourage you to research it intensely, however. The choice you make about circumcising your son will have a lifelong impact on him. Take your religious and culture choices into account. Also be sure to read current medical literature. Know that organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics speak out against routine infant circumcision. Once you have thoroughly researched the procedure and all its possible complications you will know if it’s the right choice for your son.